Thief
by H.E.R
Summary: Sort of songfic. Where do you go when you've got no place TO go
1. Default Chapter

Songfic, written to "Thief" by Our Lady Peace.  I don't own the song, nor do I own Johnny or Devi, or anything else that the Almighty Jhonen Vasquez has created.  I only own this story.  It's mine!  Mine, mine, mine!

         Devi had never really thought about Johnny in any sort of sympathetic way.  She had never really thought of him in any way that wasn't fear or hate.  It was a typical human reaction.  She feared him so she hated him for inducing such a wretched emotion.  Now she felt kind of bad for him.  How do you not feel bad for somebody who is dying in your arms because they have nobody else to go to?

         A few hours prior to this, she had simply been painting, as was typical for her.  It was not one of her better works, but she liked it anyway.  She could see in it what she was trying to show, though nobody else would have.  It was intended to show sorrow and desolation.  It was intended to evoke every painful memory that a person may have while they are looking at it.  She splashed on a few more strokes of red and began to study the picture to see what she should do next when there came a knock at the door.

         "Devi!  Open the door!"  It was Tenna.

         'Who else would it be?' Devi thought, getting up, paintbrush still in hand.  "I'm coming," she grumbled.  

         Devi shuffled her feet across the floor and undid all of the locks, knowing full well that they wouldn't stop the annoyance that was Tenna.  It's not that she hated Tenna or anything, she just didn't want to argue about weather or not she should go out tonight.  "What," she half snarled as she opened the door.

         Tenna stepped in, ignoring the snarl.  "I haven't seen you in weeks!  You keep yourself all cooped up in here.  You should go on a date or something.  You have to find a good guy sooner or later.  You're running out of bad ones."

         Not bothering to answer, Devi sat down on the couch and put her feet on the coffee table.

         "Come on," chided Tenna.  "You know, I could set you up with this really nice guy I-"

         "No," Devi cut her off.  "I don't want to go out on any dates with any guys."

         Tenna fiddled with a toy off of Devi's coffee table for a moment.  "What could it possibly hurt?  I know that that one guy you asked out from the bookstore turned out to be a psycho killer, but the whole world isn't like that.  You have to let somebody in, Devi."

         "I'm sorry.  My last date just tried to kill me, I shouldn't be afraid just because I see him everywhere I go.  Maybe I'll go out and find somebody else who can ruin my life.  Sounds like a good idea!"  The sarcasm was practically dripping off of Devi's words as she glared at Tenna.  Her voice held more venom than she had intended it to, but she did get the point across.

         "Fine," Tenna said, tossing the toy back onto the table where it came from.  "You just won't give up this whole 'killer' thing.  You know, you think about him all the time.  You shouldn't think about somebody like that in fear; it should be out of love.  That's sad.  I hope you get your closure."  With that Tenna left the room, both slightly hurt and upset.

         'Closure,' Devi thought, 'would be knowing that he's dead.'  Noticing the paintbrush that she was still clutching, Devi stood up and moved back to the painting.  The red paint that she had recently put on it had dripped down the black and blue man that she had painted there, giving it a very disturbing look.  "Damn," she muttered.  "Another picture ruined."  She could always paint another one tomorrow.

         Turning out the light, she left the room, simply wanting to get a good night's rest before she started painting again tomorrow.  Maybe she'd have an inspiring dream.


	2. Insanity

         Somewhere across town, a thin man in a black duster jacket walked through an empty alleyway.  It was getting late, but he didn't want to go back home.  If he went home he would have to listen to that damned Reverend Meat.  Shoving his hands deep into his pockets, he simply sighed and continued walking.

         Johnny had given up on the idea of desensitization a long time ago.  He just couldn't be fully rid of his emotions.  Whenever he thought that he was close an all-consuming sorrow came over him.  It was as though not having any emotion was the saddest thing of all.  His hair had also grown back out to the way that it was before instead of the two tufts of hair that jutted out from his skull like two horns.

         The steel tips of his boots made a vague metallic clacking noise as he walked down the narrow alley.  Nny began to watch his feet as he walked, wondering why he should keep moving them.  He began to question everything.  Why did he even bother to get up out of his chair?  Why should he go home when there was just as much for him out here?  He just didn't have answers to all the 'why's that plagued his thoughts like a love starved child does to anybody who will pay attention.

         Nny shook his head, trying to banish the thoughts from his troubled mind.  He really should just try to get home and maybe watch some television.  It's all he ever did.  His life seemed even more empty now than it had before.  What the hell was wrong with him?  He just needed to know so that he could fix it.  He couldn't fix it.  He knew that, but he just wanted to try.  Maybe he could get all better one day and things would be normal.  He'd have a job and there wouldn't be hundreds of corpses underneath his house and all along the country where he had been.  Maybe…

         Johnny was nearly on top of the man before he saw him there.  He had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed it when a bulky looking man had stepped into the alleyway directly in his path.  The man was about six foot two and had the body type of some sort of weight lifter.  His head was shaved and covered with tattoos, which would prevent the hair from ever growing back again even if he did want it.  Johnny almost snickered at how typical the man looked.

         "I think you should give me your wallet," growled the man, whose voice was surprisingly low-pitched.  He pulled out what appeared to be a Desert Eagle.  Momentarily, Nny wondered just how this man had gotten such a dangerous weapon.  "Now just give it up and I won't have to kill you."  He sneered, showing off his crooked and yellowing teeth.  Nny was pretty sure that this man would need several surgeries to fix all of his dental problems.

         Not at all in the mood to deal with any people, Nny pulled a dagger from his coat and spread his feet apart a little for better balance.  Taken a backed a little, the man took an unsure step backwards, focusing on the knife in Johnny's right hand.  This was the perfect opportunity to strike, and Johnny knew it.  Without wasting a moment, Johnny lunged forward, his knife aimed directly at the man's heart.  Feeling the blade bite into the man's chest and cut through his heart, Nny was reminded of his past once again.  He couldn't remember the first time he had killed somebody, but he knew that it had been a long time ago.  He also knew that it hadn't been just because of the thing behind the wall.

         The man simply fell to the ground, not even having the time to utter a cry.  Nny watched the man's face as he fell, wondering exactly what was going through his head.  He wasn't quite sure if he really cared, but he wondered just for the fact that he wanted to know just what a person's final thoughts are.  Once again deep in thought, Johnny didn't notice the man's accomplice come up behind him from behind a nearby dumpster.  The man stood for a moment, aiming his shaking gun and shot Nny in the back.

         Ripped from his thoughts, Johnny turned around to find the other man standing, dumbfounded at the sight before him.  It was obvious that the man had never used a gun before and had definitely not expected for his partner to die on this little expedition.  Ignoring the pain in his chest, Johnny pulled a second knife from inside of his coat and flung it at the man's head, hitting his mark with ease.

         'This just isn't my night,' Johnny couldn't help but muse.

         The danger gone, Johnny put his hand to the wound to try to slow the blood flow.  The pain was unimaginable.  He didn't recall it hurting so much when he had been shot in the head by the device he rigged up to kill himself.  The pain seemed to shoot out in every direction and touch every part of him.  Nny had had enough experience with blood and death to know that holding out hope of surviving through the night was almost childish.

         Nny ripped the bottom hem off of the shirt of the man he had just thrown the knife at and bandaged his wounds as best he could, though he knew that it would do little to help him.  When he had left his home that night, he had no clue that things would end up like this.  He didn't know that he was going to end up dieing alone in the city somewhere.  He didn't want to die alone.  He had spent all of his life alone, he at least didn't want to die alone as well.

         This was wrong.  He was Nny.  He couldn't die!  So why did he feel so weak already?

         Johnny stumbled out of the alleyway, not really knowing where he was going, but knowing that he didn't want to die in that dump that he had been calling home for the past few years of his life.  He had been trapped there for as long as he could remember; he didn't want his corpse to rot away in that shit hole, only to be found when the neighbors finally complained of a strong stench, or some vagrant came to try to find a place to get out of the rain.  He was pretty sure that neither of these things would even happen if he were to die there.  He would just die, and rot away, and spend eternity in that house, alone.  He didn't want to be alone forever.

         As it was, though, Johnny didn't know where to go.  He could possibly go to Squee, but the poor thing was already so very traumatized.  He felt so bad for that kid.  Johnny only wanted to help him, but it seemed that everything he did just terrified the poor child more and more.  But whom else did Johnny know?  There was Devi.  But Devi hated him.  Still, where else did he have to go?  He knew that she would probably just lock the door and call the cops, but at least he might get to see her one last time.

         Finally knowing where he was heading, Johnny picked up his pace.  He had to make it there before it was too late.  He had to tell her how sorry he was and how much he really did like her.  The streets were cold and empty, just like the rest of his life had always been, leaving Nny feeling very introspective.  This place had once been his hunting grounds.  He had once been the predator, killing those worthless beings that had the audacity to call themselves "humans".  Now he was a wounded animal.  Struggling to make it to a safe haven to die.  Struggling to keep the world from swimming as he trudged to the only place on earth that he could think of to go to.

         The pale light spilling from streetlamps only worked to intensify the feeling of emptiness.  Johnny waded through one pool of light to the next, not relenting in the pace he had set for himself, even though his head throbbed and his body trembled.  He was almost there.  He couldn't stop now.

         Johnny made his way through the apartment building that Devi lived in, practically crawling up the stairs, and leaving a bloody trail behind him.  Thankfully it was too late for most people to be wandering the halls, and the only people who were, were too wrapped up in themselves to even notice the dieing man as he passed them.  Finally, Nny stood in front of Devi's door, panting for breathe slightly, and beginning to wonder if this was such a good idea after all.  It was too late for second thoughts, though, being that Johnny was too worn out and had lost too much blood already, he collapsed with a loud thud against the door.


	3. Theif

Devi sat up in her bed, her tossing and turning interrupted by the loud noise at her door.

         "Tenna," Devi growled as she got out of the bed.  She should have known that Tenna wouldn't give up so easily.  Devi knew better than to hold out hope that maybe Tenna would let go of the subject of her going out.

         Devi staggered to the door, not at all pleased with the thought of dealing with Tenna again.  "This had better be good," she said to the person on the other side of the door before opening all of her locks and flinging open the door.

         Johnny fell into the room, having been using the door as support so that he could try to get up and get away before she saw him.

         Reacting on instinct, Devi screamed and jumped back, looking around the room for a weapon to defend herself with.  "What are you doing here?" she half yelled.

         Nny groaned as he worked to get up off of her floor.  "I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and see you one last time," he managed to wheeze out.  "I'll leave now."

         Devi's jaw dropped as she noticed the blood that covered him and was now dripping on her floor.  Had the powers that be heard her and granted her wish.  Devi felt almost sick.  Sure she had wanted to kill people before, but she wasn't sure that she really was ready to be able to say she wanted someone to die and then see then die.

         Johnny slipped a little in his blood, falling back onto the floor face first.  It was obvious to Devi that he would die before the sun rose, and that almost made her sad.  As much as she hated him for what he had done to her, she had once loved him, and the remnants of that love still clung to the tatters that were once her heart.  "Why me?"

         Johnny managed to actually pick himself up off of the floor enough to look at her, his eyes begging her to ask him to stay.  "I don't want to die alone," he whispered.  A tear slid down his cheek as he prepared himself for the inevitable rejection that she would give him.  He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, preparing to try again to get up and out of her life for the last time when he felt hands grab him underneath the armpits.

         Devi easily lifted the skinny man from the floor where he had been and dragged him as gently as she could to her room.  "If you kill me," she said, "I will torture you in hell.  I don't even know why I'm doing this."

         Nny hissed a little in pain as he was lowered onto her bed.  "I don't want to hurt you.  I've hurt you enough.  I'm so sorry."  Johnny's eyes welled up with tears once more as he realized that she was going to stay with him until he died.

         "I should call a hospital," she said, feeling uncomfortable.

         Nny just shook his head.  "I'm going to die.  Nobody can stop it…please just stay with me.  Please?"  His face had gone pale and his eyes were glassy with tears.  Two streaks of dirt had formed down his cheeks from the paths of the tears.

         Devi sat down on the bed next to him, knowing that even if he did want to kill her, he didn't have the strength.  She knew that the hospital could do nothing for him.  He already had one foot in the grave.  "Why me?" she asked again, still not understanding why he would want to see her of all people.  Shouldn't he be with his mother or father or something?  Maybe a brother or sister?  Hell, even a cousin, but not her.

         "I love you…and I know you hate me, but I have nowhere else to go.  I don't want to die alone.  I've spent too much time alone already."  Nny was still pleading his case, hoping that she wouldn't change her mind and throw him out.

         Devi sighed, tears beginning to form in her eyes.  This was too much to take, but she couldn't just deny him his dieing wish.  She should have.  She had every right to, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it.  Devi gently pulled Johnny into her lap and hugged him.  "You don't have to die alone."

         Closing his eyes, Johnny sighed and took in a deep breath, breathing in her scent once more.  Most people smelled like shit to him.  He hated to be around people for many reasons, and scent was one of them, but Devi was different.  Devi smelled like cookies to him.  She just smelled good.  "I'm so sorry," he whispered again.  "I'm sick…I was sick.  I should have ignored it…I should have—"

         Devi shushed him.  "It's done."  She moved enough to look him in the eyes.  "I can never fully forgive you, but I can tell you that I missed you.  I do care about you, even if I've spent so much time hating you."

         Johnny blinked a couple of times, not quite sure how to take what he had just been told, but somehow feeling better.

         Devi began to stroke his hair and gently sing to him.

         "I don't want to understand this horror,

         There's a weight in your eyes, I can't admit

         Everybody ends up here in bottles,

         But the name-tag's the last thing you wanted"

         Johnny smiled and leaned against her, listening to the song.  He closed his eyes, just enjoying the sound of her voice, knowing that it would be the last thing that he heard.

         "As the world explodes, we fall out of it,

And we can't let go, because this will not go away,

There's a house built out in space.

And I can't see that thief that lives inside of your head,

But I can be some courage at the side of your bed,

And I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend,

But I can be your, be your"

Devi looked down at Nny, part of her still wanting to run away screaming, but part of her, a much larger part, wanting to cry for him.

"Someone help us understand who ordered

This disgusting arrangement: time and the end

I don't wanna hear who walked on water,

'cause the hallways are empty, caustic

As the world implodes, we fall into it

And we can't go home because this will not go away

There's a house built out in space"

         Devi thought about all of those nights that she had spent, wishing that he would just die, some of them wishing she could watch him die.  Now that it was happening, she didn't want to see him go.  She knew that she would always love him, and she was going to be sad that he was gone, even though she would be free.

         "And I can't see the thief that lives inside of your head

But I can be some courage at the side of your bed

And I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend

It's a long long get-away, it's a long long get-away

Make it home again, make it home again

It's a long long get-away"

         She didn't know why, but she knew that she didn't really hate him.  She feared him, yes, but she didn't hate him…she just hated the fear.  She wished that she could make him understand what he had done to her.  She wished that that night could be redone, so maybe she could leave before things went bad and she wouldn't have to fear him.

         "I can't see that thief that lives inside of your head

But I can be some courage at the side of your bed

I don't know what's happening and I can't pretend

But I can be your, be your"

         As Devi finished the song, she sat Johnny down, knowing that he was gone.  She looked at his face, which looked like that of a child, peacefully asleep, having a happy dream.  Johnny had died with a smile on his face.  As she was looking at what was left of the love and fear of her life, light shone into the room from the window.  She looked up at the window and a single tear slid down her cheek for the lost maniac as she watched the sun rise alone.


End file.
